What is Perfectionism?

One definition of perfectionism is a learned internal motivation to strive for perfection based on the belief that self-worth is equated with performance. In other words, the perfectionist is afraid to do something unless he or she is certain it can be done completely and perfectly because failure is unacceptable. Fear of failure shows up in the form of procrastination. Frequent procrastination is the first and most obvious clue that you may be overly perfectionistic.

What Are Other Symptoms of Perfectionism?

Do you find that you are never really satisfied with work you have completed? Do you believe that if you don’t do a perfect job that you are less of a person or others will reject you? Do you fear failure because you believe that others will not accept or respect you? If you answer yes to one of these questions you are probably experiencing some degree of perfectionism.

How Do People Become Perfectionistic?

The good news is that perfectionism is learned. We are not born with it. That’s good news because just like it was learned, through social experiences, we can learn to overcome the debilitating effects of perfectionism. We strive to be perfect because we live in an achievement oriented, competitive society that holds perfectionism as a high social value. We believe that if we can be perfect in some way, then something good will magically come our way.

The Perfectionism Myth

The real irony of perfectionism is that it is a myth! It doesn’t really exist. Yet perfectionists are unable to settle for anything less so they constantly strive for the unattainable. As a result, they set themselves up for constant failure and continuous unhappiness.

How Does Perfectionism Affect You?

Perfectionistic students frequently feel more than the usual pressure and anxiety about projects and exams and these feelings negatively affect their performance. Perfectionists can also become overly demanding of attention from others because of their constant need for reassurance.

How Can a Student Overcome Perfectionism?

• Identify and acknowledge your symptoms of perfectionism.
• Write down the personal advantages and disadvantages of attempting to be perfect.
• Give yourself credit for the small accomplishments you make everyday.
• Identify past mistakes and failures and note that you usually overcame them and moved forward anyway.
• Intentionally aim at being more accepting of your strengths and weaknesses and your accomplishments and failures.
• Give yourself permission to make mistakes.
• Talk with a counselor about your perfectionism.

Suggested Reading:

Perfectionism: What’s Bad About Being Too Good? By Miriam Adderholdt-Elliot, Ph.D., Minneapolis, MN: Free Spirit Pub. Inc., 1987.

Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David Burns, M.D., New York: New American Library, 1981